When I started learning Nonviolent Communication (NVC) a decade ago, one of my first teachers heavily emphasized self-empathy—that is, sensing into our own feelings and needs as a method to understand and connect with ourselves—as the easiest and most readily available source of empathy and compassion. “Self-empathy is your best friend,” she said. Her preference […]
The Truth about Your Inner Critic
Do you spur on your inner critic, hoping that if you can just be harder on yourself, you can liberate yourself from your pain and inhabit your life more fully? Or do you try to stifle, ignore, or exile your inner critic, believing that the key to happiness is to just think positively and overpower […]
Embracing Your Joys and Your Sorrows: Living Your Whole Life with Presence
Six weeks ago, my home burned down. In ten minutes. While I was out of town. Complicatedly, the building that burned wasn’t my private residence, though it was the heart of the place where I was living and have frequently visited and lived over the past 17 years. Since August, I’d been living at Wilbur […]
Making Nourishing, Accomplishable New Year’s Resolutions Free of Self-Domination, Defeatism, and “Shoulds”
Every year, an estimated 40 percent of Americans make New Year’s resolutions, but one study suggests that only 12 percent actually accomplish their goals. Why do so many of us start each new year with resolutions, only to drop them once the hope of a fresh start diminishes? The cultural message about our unsuccessful attempts […]
Are You Running on Empty? How to Refill Your Empathy Tank
December is one of the busiest months, jam-packed with celebrations and lights and opportunities for connection. December is also the darkest month, with the shortest days and the longest nights—nature’s invitation to tend to our pains and losses. In no month is the human struggle between light and dark, life and death, hope and despair […]