I believe in the power of making requests. Vulnerable, specific, actionable requests. So many good things can happen when you make powerful requests: ~You offer people an opportunity to contribute to your life. ~You deepen your sense of self-connection and being “fully with” yourself. ~You exponentially increase your chances of having your needs actually met. […]
What Would You Do with Your Life if You Were Living Your True Purpose?
Almost two decades ago, I passed through a toll booth on the San Francisco Bay Bridge. I held out my money to a toll taker, and in return he beamed at me, his smile radiant and his eyes kind. With the buoyant warmth of a parent talking to their beloved child, he asked, “How are […]
What Would You Change in Your Life Today if You Trusted Your Needs Would Still Be Met?
I don’t know about you, but when I was younger, I accomplished a lot in my life through force, “willpower,” punishments and rewards, and deadlines (emphasis on the “dead” part, which is how I often felt at the finish line of projects and degrees). I’d been conditioned to think that coercion, from myself or others, […]
Are You Stuck in a Response Rut? How Your Listening Can Deepen or Distance Your Relationships
–> Have you ever wanted to support someone, but what you said or didn’t say seemed to make things worse? –> Do you rerun conversations afterward, cringing about what you said, and wishing you could have a “do-over”—even if you aren’t exactly sure what you’d do or say differently? –> Do you fear conflict, because […]
Why is Self-Compassion So Elusive? (And A Three-Step Process for Priming the Pump!)
When I started learning Nonviolent Communication (NVC) a decade ago, one of my first teachers heavily emphasized self-empathy—that is, sensing into our own feelings and needs as a method to understand and connect with ourselves—as the easiest and most readily available source of empathy and compassion. “Self-empathy is your best friend,” she said. Her preference […]